First Day-Here I go

Well, hello. I have been thinking about starting a blog for a while.Guess, I just haven't had the motivation or the inner strength.Somehow, I feel stronger this year than I have in the past 3 and a half years. You see, my world changed on 7/7/2007 when my wonderful, 19 year old son, David died at the hands of bouncers at Castle Hill Tavern. My whole world fell apart and it is only now that I can even begin to pick up some of the pieces.I cannot begin to tell you the state of my mind and the suffering I have endured since the day in July that was supposed to be the luckiest day of the century. A day that many people anticipated with joy. This was a day when brides clammered to book  weddings, when happy gamblers bought scratch lotteries expecting some of the luck of luckiest day to come their way.My son bought scratchies that day too  but all his luck had been used up.

I'll leave you today with my facebook info. It says a lot of who I am.

I believe we are what we think and our world is the product of our thoughts. Therefore there is no place for negative thoughts,only positive ones.To shine love and light is the only way to survive this world. We should never be judgemental of others I am Australian and I love living here.I love singing along and screaming to rock music with messages.I love turning my car CD up really loud.I love rock groups such as Linkin Park, AFI. I love my V8 red Commodore and I love it's power. I light candles every night for my son, mum and dad. All gone, way too soon..I love shopping for quirky ornaments.Shops with Asian and Cultural artefacts are my favourite.I like to paint and draw.I love reading and will read anything with meaning.I'm into Philosophy and reality creation at the moment also religion and spirituality. My family sponsors a World Vision child-Limakatso from Lesotho.I wish we could help more children .I am not the same person I was 39 months ago. My world was turned upside down.Now I question the meaning of life. I spend all my time thinking. Why did my son get taken. What was the point.If it was to accelerate me spiritually I would rather stay at the level I am at.My world is not the happy place it used to be.I live in"The giant Sadness,' like in "The Shack." I lost my son,best friend and most wonderful, kind guy, David on 7/7/07.Killed by bouncers at Castle Hill Tavern. His first time there. He just wanted to have fun.He was and is such a beautiful soul.My other lovely son, ,20 is also my best friend as well as my wonderful, husband . I am spiritual, not religious.I don't believe in religion or politics.I think they cause more problems than anything.I believe in the power of positive thinking and love.I believe we are all one and should treat each other with respect and we shouldn't judge anyone.If there is a God it is within us. We are all God. I love my puppy. I miss my mum and dad.They left, too soon . I am sad my sister is so cruel to me. I have seen a ghost and I have evidence that we don't die. and I am not afraid of dying. I know there that we are never born, only our bodies are so how can we ever die .We just change form.Like a caterpillar into a butterfly. Thanks David for letting me know you are still around.I love you forever, my wonderful son and I can't wait to see you again.