Synchronicities and strange happenings.

About a year after David graduated earth School. I was visiting the cemetary to place flowers. As usual the cemetary was empty. The place only comes "alive," at the weekend with families visiting their loved ones. During the week, the place is desolate and lonely with a sense of unhappiness- the realm of the dead.I decided to park my car in a different place and as I got out I spotted a lone figure bending over a grave in, "the garden of Innocence," the last resting place of the tiny babies that sometimes didn't make even one day on Earth. as I got closer I realised I knew the person. It was, Marie, the mother of one of my younger son's old school friends. She had lost a much awaited female baby, ( she is the mother of 4 boys)  to heart problems when she was not even six months old. I had not seen her for some years and then she was only an aquantiance. Marie told me that she hadn't been to the cemetary for a long time but for some reason, this day she had to come. I think it was meant to be. Marie and I from then onwards got together for coffee and lunch on a number of occassions. One day she told me that her mother had been involved in spirituality for quite sometime. Her mother had given her the name of a psychic that she thought was meant for me and not her. It was Ezio Deangeles.
Ezio was performing at Blacktown Workers Club. Two of my friends and I went to see him. Nothing amazing happened but I had been drawn into the world of spirituality and this was apparently to become a bigger part of my life.

The weirdness begins

The first "supernatural," thing that happened after the T.V freezing incident was the following. My husband, son and I all noticed it.It was during the funeral in the middle of the service. I'm not sure exactly when but suddenly the lights in the church turned off.Nobody was near the light switch which was visible  to us. It only happened for a second and then it was back on again.
Later we found out about another weird occurrence. When my husband arrived at the Tavern on the night.,he couldn't find David. He went out into the carpark but his view was obscured by the tavern's courtesy bus. David was in the corner and people were doing CPR on him. According to the police and recorded on CCT footage the courtesy bus moved forward a few feet, hence obscuring, Bill's view as he stepped into the carpark. As he turned to leave it moved back into the position it was in before. Why? Was he not meant to see David?Was there a higher power controlling events? Even the police found it weird.........(insert) Twilight Zone music.

First signs from Dave.

It was the day before the funeral. People had been dropping in all day and all the days before.We had  the police and newspaper reporters hassling us .I had spent a good part of the day putting together a photo shop for the funeral. It was very upsetting going through all the wonderful photos and realising this was all I had left of David. I had been on auto pilot and it was all starting to come crashing down.  All I wanted was to crawl into a hole, never to emerge again, but David deserved more than that.We were all totally exhausted but we had to write the eulogy. So we holed ourselves up in the rumpus room,my husband, younger son and myself with my son on the computer.Me, crawled up in a ball occassionally glancing at the tv screen which was turned down. We were talking about all the wonderful things about David when suddenly I realised the T.V had frozen. It was on,"That 70's Show.  The main character Eric Foreman was speaking. He had stopped in mid move and mid sentence. His hand forming the thumbs up. David always gave the thumbs up.Look at the photo I have attached.
We replayed the scene as we ran our T.V through the DVD player at that stage.. Eric was saying,"That's great. I feel great. What a great day." then his hand moved on. He wasn't making a thumbs up at all but that's how his hand appeared where it froze.We were dumb struck. David was always saying,"great."His last words to me were" I'm having a great time."
Somehow I think David did have a great day and felt great. He is now free from the confines and problems of this earthly existence. He doesn't have to put up with the daily pain and crap that we that are still here have to endure.I hope you are having a blast wherever you are.

Premonitions

David knew he was going to die. A few weeks before the awful day. He said "Mum, I don't want to grow up. It is too' hard. I'd rather stay a kid forever."  Another time he said, " I'm not going to make 20  and why do you get 50 years and I don't".
The week before David's death we had just celebrated my 50th birthday party. It was a wonderful night. I have photos of us all smiling big huge cheesy smiles. My smile was the biggest. I can't smile like that anymore. So much has been taken away. The world as I knew it changed forever on 7/7/07.
Two weeks before the day I got very frustrated and angry with David. I went outside to calm down. He hadn't done anything bad but was being a frustrating teenager.Suddenly I had this overpowering feeling of nothingness. Words can't describe it. It was like there was no future  for David. There was just a void.Two days before the dreaded event David woke up and told me of a dream he had.He said it was incredibly real and he had met my father who passed in 2000 and asked him what heaven was like. The answer he got was that it was wonderful. I forgot about this dream until a week after the event.How prophetic was it!
On the terrible night David was supposed to be going out with a friend but it fell through.This friend had been cancelling arrangements for the last few weeks as he had recently formed a realtionship with a girl.David like a noraml teenager wanted to have fun on a Saturday night and this meant being with friends and going somewhere. He didn't get to do it very often as 2 friends had moved away and others were working Saturday night. He said," I really want to go somewhere so my husband suggested the Tavern as it was only a fifteen minute walk away. (He regrets this forever)David was not the sort of person to go out by himself  and I really didn't expect him to go. It was really out of character when he said he would go. I wasn't happy. I had this deep feeling that he shouldn't go. I had a bit of an argument with my husband but he insisted I should let David go as he was nearly 20. One thing I have never done is blame my husband. It was if it was meant to happen.
As the night went on I became more concerned and rang David. He seemed happy and said he was having a great time.My feeling of unease continued and I made my husband walk to the tavern to join David. Then just after he left  my younger son, suddenly went freezing cold. He rang David's phone and it wouldn't answer. After many, tries a strange voice answered and said. Your son has collapsed but don't worry call back in ten minutes.
You're joking!!!! my younger son and I ran to the car and high tailed it to the Tavern.It was the beginning of the end and life as we knew it.

It begins

I will go back to  to 1991. My son, David was 4 years old. A happy, mischievous, active little boy.Not a worry in the world.We were living in Melbourne and I was out at late night shopping. When I returned, David was distraught. My husband told me that suddenly David had blurted out. I'm going to die. He had tried to calm him down but David was inconsolable. I remember in the days following buying some glitter powder and telling him it was fairy powder.and it will take your worries away. This just seemed to make him worse.We put it down to something David had heard on T.V or the stress of the move to Melbourne.( We had lived in Sydney before then) but as time went on this fear of dying reared its ugly head many times.It was always on his mind.It didn't stop him having fun  but it did make him the target of bullies.I don't want to go into it but David had a hard time at primary school when we returned to Sydney in 1994.Kids can be insensitive and there were certainly some insensitive ones that made David's primary school years ,hell,along with a few teachers that should be retired from the profession.I was a teacher and I do not appreciate the way they dealt with the bullying. Their attitude was sweep it under the mat.
When David reached 15 years of age, the dying fear it came back with a whammy.He said he knew he was going to die. He started working at the gym to build up his muscles as he knew he was going to be attacked. He knew he was not big enough or strong enough and wanted to do something to protect himself.He also started eating healthy food and was very self concious of any food he ate. He lived on salads. He had the feeling he may have had something wrong with his body.
My grandfather was a pyschic who gave readings. He also dabbled in the ouija board and had seances. This was in the 1920's when seances were all the rage so I used to think."oh yeah!' lets take this all with a grain of salt. My mum told me that whenshe was a little girl, she awoke one night when her parents were holding a seance.She tiptoed down to the room where the adults were sitting in a circle in dim light. She screamed when she saw a huge, American Indian in full head dress standing behind her father. Her father calmed her down by telling her it was his spirit guide. The Indian had since disappeared into thin air.
I often thought David had inherited his grandfather's psychic abilities.

First Day-Here I go

Well, hello. I have been thinking about starting a blog for a while.Guess, I just haven't had the motivation or the inner strength.Somehow, I feel stronger this year than I have in the past 3 and a half years. You see, my world changed on 7/7/2007 when my wonderful, 19 year old son, David died at the hands of bouncers at Castle Hill Tavern. My whole world fell apart and it is only now that I can even begin to pick up some of the pieces.I cannot begin to tell you the state of my mind and the suffering I have endured since the day in July that was supposed to be the luckiest day of the century. A day that many people anticipated with joy. This was a day when brides clammered to book  weddings, when happy gamblers bought scratch lotteries expecting some of the luck of luckiest day to come their way.My son bought scratchies that day too  but all his luck had been used up.

I'll leave you today with my facebook info. It says a lot of who I am.

I believe we are what we think and our world is the product of our thoughts. Therefore there is no place for negative thoughts,only positive ones.To shine love and light is the only way to survive this world. We should never be judgemental of others I am Australian and I love living here.I love singing along and screaming to rock music with messages.I love turning my car CD up really loud.I love rock groups such as Linkin Park, AFI. I love my V8 red Commodore and I love it's power. I light candles every night for my son, mum and dad. All gone, way too soon..I love shopping for quirky ornaments.Shops with Asian and Cultural artefacts are my favourite.I like to paint and draw.I love reading and will read anything with meaning.I'm into Philosophy and reality creation at the moment also religion and spirituality. My family sponsors a World Vision child-Limakatso from Lesotho.I wish we could help more children .I am not the same person I was 39 months ago. My world was turned upside down.Now I question the meaning of life. I spend all my time thinking. Why did my son get taken. What was the point.If it was to accelerate me spiritually I would rather stay at the level I am at.My world is not the happy place it used to be.I live in"The giant Sadness,' like in "The Shack." I lost my son,best friend and most wonderful, kind guy, David on 7/7/07.Killed by bouncers at Castle Hill Tavern. His first time there. He just wanted to have fun.He was and is such a beautiful soul.My other lovely son, ,20 is also my best friend as well as my wonderful, husband . I am spiritual, not religious.I don't believe in religion or politics.I think they cause more problems than anything.I believe in the power of positive thinking and love.I believe we are all one and should treat each other with respect and we shouldn't judge anyone.If there is a God it is within us. We are all God. I love my puppy. I miss my mum and dad.They left, too soon . I am sad my sister is so cruel to me. I have seen a ghost and I have evidence that we don't die. and I am not afraid of dying. I know there that we are never born, only our bodies are so how can we ever die .We just change form.Like a caterpillar into a butterfly. Thanks David for letting me know you are still around.I love you forever, my wonderful son and I can't wait to see you again.